By: Romi Morales
“Vaiera addresses a number of issues that can be of great help in making the Tnua a safe space. Let’s look at some of them.
Abraham welcomes 3 visitors
The beginning of the parsha tells how three people approach Abraham’s tent and he tries to persuade them to come inside to drink, eat and rest before continuing on their way. When he succeeds in persuading them to stop, Abraham encourages Sarah to join him in organising the great feast. It is worth asking: Why would someone be so anxious to welcome strangers into his home? Why go to the trouble of making great preparations for unknown people? Why involve others to be part of this great feast?
These questions would seem strange to us if it were not for the fact that, in various parts of the world, thousands of madrichim and madrichot continue to do what Abraham did thousands of years ago. Yes, from Saturday to Saturday, madrichim and madrichot take care of inviting children and teenagers of Tnua age to come to the ken. In many places, there is even vaadot in charge of preparing the ken, so that when everyone arrives, they know that they have been expected and that their presence is a cause for joy. So, we can say that the first step to making the Tnua a safe space is to give a warm welcome and to make everyone who comes to our door feel wanted and comfortable; so that they don’t feel “strange”, or more importantly, so that they feel “at home”.
Another interesting point of the fragment is that what began as simple travellers end up as 3 angels who come to bring very important messages to Abraham, Sarah and Lot. We can also learn from this: we often think that those who come on the Sabbath are “simple” hanichim or hanihot. However, as we get to know them and form a deep bond with them, we realise that these people have come into our lives to bring us great lessons and important messages that help us to grow and improve day by day. In this way, what at first seems to be an act that only benefits those who arrive, ends up being an act that also benefits those who receive them, thus contributing to making the Tnua a positive and productive space for all the people who inhabit it.
Sodom and Gomorrah: When Space Is Not Safe.
In this parsha we see how Lot, Abraham’s nephew, settled with his family in Sodom. This city, along with Gomorrah, is described as two cities where evil, injustice and corruption reigned. The situation was so pernicious that G-d warned Abraham of His plan to destroy both cities. Upon receiving this information, Abraham intervenes by asking G-d that the righteous not receive the same punishment as the wicked. In this way, angels (in the form of visitors) arrive in Sodom to rescue Lot and his family. While Lot receives them properly, the rest of the city treats them with a high degree of violence. The only way for Lot and his family to save themselves is to flee the place before it is destroyed, with the explicit request not to look back.
This is a clear lesson that it is not enough to be welcoming, we must also ensure that the place where we live and receive people is healthy. If our educational space is toxic and threatens the physical, mental and/or emotional health of the chaverim and chaverot, it will be impossible to achieve the objectives we have set ourselves as Tnua: to create healthy bonds, significant learning and/or experiences that guarantee personal growth and the strengthening of identity based on our values and principles, among others.
Sometimes it is not easy to identify practices that harm people because they are part of the “culture of the place or the moment”. Ways of speaking, rituals or social dynamics can be understood as “normal” because “this is the way it has always been”. However, a critical eye, autonomous thinking and the right to doubt are some of the tools we can use to assess whether what is happening in our environment contributes to creating a safe environment for all people. If not, it is essential to act in favour of change.
There are times when violence is not something generalised, but is seen specifically in a group. In these cases it is important to imagine who are the people who, despite being immersed in a harmful environment, are still trying to act with integrity to protect them and help them get out of it. The ability to distinguish between spaces or people that are hurtful and those that allow for growth is a fundamental learning for life, as is identifying the skills needed to move away from what is hurtful and closer to what is empowering. As madrichim and madrihot, we want to be the ones who provide the necessary tools so that our chanichim and hanichot can make this distinction and thus choose and build safe spaces, both inside and outside the Tnua.
The dream that came true at the age of 100.
When Abraham and Sarah are told that they will have a child at the age of 100, they both smile in disbelief. They both seem to think that this dream they share is impossible. And yet, against all odds, after a long wait, Yitzchak comes into the world. And what does this have to do with making the Tnua a safe place?
Well, so far we have mentioned the importance of calling our chanichim and chanichot to come to the ken, to receive them with joy and to ensure for them that this is a space without violence. However, a safe space is not only one in which there is an absence of evil or danger, but a safe space is, mainly, one in which respect, security and trust are the necessary and sufficient basis to be and dream authentically and share that with those around us. As madrijim and madrijot it is essential that we make our kvutzot synergistic groups that encourage us to bring out the potential of each of the people who make them up. Groups that function based on mutual aid, collective responsibility and the deep desire to generate well-being for oneself and those around them. Groups that do not give up in the face of adversity. So that when it happens that one of our hanichim or hanichot laughs at his own dreams, thinking that they are impossible to fulfill, there will be someone by his side, to remind him that if Abraham and Sarah had a child at the age of 100, then, if we want him, together, everything is possible.
