By Romi Morales
What would happen if we could truly see the deep impact our words have on others? Would we still speak and write thoughtlessly, or would we become more careful when choosing our words? How many times have you wished you could turn back time to express something differently? How often have you found yourself talking about someone instead of to them about something that bothered you?
Parashat Tazria brings up an especially interesting topic: purity and impurity in various areas of life, including the spiritual. In this parasha, we learn about a disease that existed at the time called Tzaraat. According to our sages, a person could acquire this condition for several reasons, the primary one being Lashon HaRa (speaking negatively about others). In this sense, Parashat Tazria reminds us that speech creates reality, and therefore, we must be aware of that fact and use our words carefully. This is especially important for educators, as words are our main working tool. If this topic interests you, this article is for you. Let’s dive in!
Lashon HaRa: Definition, sources, and the evolution of the concept
The literal translation of Lashon HaRa is “evil tongue,” and it refers to speaking negatively about another person (even if what is said is true), when the person is not present, without their consent, and when the words have no constructive purpose.
In Jewish ethics, Lashon HaRa holds an important place and has been the subject of extensive study and debate. Some attribute the famous phrase to King Solomon: “Life and death are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21), which encapsulates the power of words and the dangers of using them unwisely. Regarding consequences, the Talmud mentions that the act of Lashon HaRa harms three parties: the one who speaks, the one who is spoken about, and the one who listens (Talmud, Arakhin 15b). Building on this idea, in the 13th century, Rabbi Menachem HaMeiri developed the concept that Lashon HaRa is even more harmful than we think, due to its “multiplier effect.” Once words are spoken, they can reach places we never imagined. It’s worth noting that modern technologies have amplified this effect. Today, we hear about “cyber gossip,” referring to harmful talk that spreads via social media, which further magnifies its negative consequences. Recognizing that learning how to use speech properly (so as not to cause harm) is just as important as other commandments in the Torah, Rabbi Israel Meir Kagan wrote the famous book Chafetz Chaim in the 19th century, dedicated entirely to this topic.
In recent years, women have also contributed to the discussion. Rabbi Jill Hammer notes that some feminist thinkers suggest that, especially for women, gossip may not be as one-sided as patriarchal tradition implies. Within the Orthodox feminist paradigm, the well-known Blu Greenberg even warns about the possibility that some people may use the concept of Lashon HaRa to silence women from speaking out about the violence they experience.
From the fields of psychology and neuroscience, Professor M. Leary argues that gossip is a deeply human behavior because we are social beings who rely on our group to survive. Still, this does not justify it as a healthy behavior—especially in educational spaces, which should be safe environments for growth and development. Along the same lines, team-building expert Emanuel Gale explains that gossip, negative rumors, and bad-mouthing others are behaviors that weaken the strength of any group. Among the most evident consequences, he highlights how gossip damages one’s own reputation, fuels a toxic work culture, destroys interpersonal relationships, and fosters cruelty. He suggests that while gossiping may create a false sense of connection or closeness, doing so at the expense of others’ physical, emotional, and mental well-being is neither right nor beneficial. That’s why we must learn to stop gossip in its tracks.
Even though we can rationally agree that Lashon HaRa offers no real benefit, refraining from it is still very difficult. So, here are some points that might help us improve in this area—slowly but surely, step by step.
1. Speaking ill of others says more about you than about them.
First and foremost, if we want to eliminate the act of speaking negatively about others, we must start by working on our own communication habits. Remember: the old saying “Do as I say, not as I do” undermines our credibility as educators. Leading by example is also relevant when it comes to speech.
2. Making the invisible visible.
Often, children, teenagers (and adults too) don’t see the direct impact of their words or how these words affect others. Building awareness in this context is essential if we want our groups to be safe spaces free from harmful behavior. More importantly, we want the habit of avoiding harmful speech to carry on outside of educational settings as well.
3. Institutional policy
We all do the best we can with the resources we have, and often this means focusing solely on our own group without looking at what came before or what will come after. However, educational organizations that adopt a clear institutional policy promoting healthy communication are far more likely to achieve better, faster results than those that don’t. Educating everyone—from young children to professional staff—to use language in a noble way helps create an ecosystem in which everyone feels more comfortable, safe, and empowered to learn, grow, and thrive.
4. Teaching what is and isn’t okay—clearly.
Especially with children and teens, there is often confusion about where the line is between gossip and necessary communication. It’s important to clarify: gossip is a harmful comment made behind someone’s back, without their consent, and with no constructive purpose. Telling an adult about a friend’s risky behavior to seek help, reporting acts of violence, or preventing someone from falling into toxic patterns are all examples of when speaking up is not just acceptable—it’s necessary (with the right person, at the right time and place).
In conclusion
The educational process is built through relationships, and those relationships are maintained through language. Sometimes it’s written, sometimes oral, and sometimes physical. Aside from the latter, the “bricks” with which we build language are words. Words are the medium through which we connect children and teens with the outside world, express dreams and ideas, and translate abstract concepts into tangible values. Words are the glue that can strengthen bonds—or the barriers that create distance.
In this parasha, we learn that someone afflicted with Tzaraat must be separated from others, showing us exactly this: the consequence of careless speech and how it can isolate us from those around us.
Some say that “words create reality.” I hope that, as educators, we learn to use our words with wisdom and precision to create realities where children and youth grow up free from fear of being watched, judged, or criticized. In other words, realities where they can be their true selves, make mistakes, learn, and grow.
It may sound difficult, but—are you willing to try?
