By: Romi Morales
What do the word ‘Avra Kadabra’, parasha Toldot and our role in education have in common?
Some say that the magical word ‘avrah kahdabra’ is Aramaic and means: ‘I believe as I speak’. Others believe that the expression is Hebrew ‘Aberah KeDabar’ and means: ‘I will create as I speak’. What is fascinating about the message that both interpretations share is that speech generates reality.
Parashat Toldot, shows how words shape destinies. Whether blessings, promises or dialogues, language is the powerful medium that defines the course of individuals and our people as a whole. Each word has its own weight and value, and together they are tools that can build or destroy, depending on how they are used. In education, the word is essential. If we learn from our sources, we will discover how to use it with care, love and responsibility.
When the word limits.
Finally, Rivka became pregnant. However, something was troubling her. God said to her, ‘Two nations are in your womb; (…). One people shall be stronger than the other, and the older shall serve the smaller. ¨
Would it have made any difference if God said: ‘They are twins! Giving Rivka the chance to discover for herself the destiny of the children? We cannot know. But based on the text, we see that the answer she received greatly influenced how she related to her sons, giving preference to the youngest, Yaakov.
Something similar happens in Tnua when madrichim share negative information about chanichim. Sometimes, although with the good intention of giving a diagnosis of the kvutza, the madrichim give negative information about past chanichim to those who will receive the kvutza. This, unfortunately, can lead to a bad predisposition in the new tzevet. While having a diagnosis of the kvutza is important, harmful phrases take away the ability of the new tzevet to discover people, without being traversed by stigmas that reduce their value. An alternative is to speak assertively. In this way, the new tzevet will first get to know the chanich and his potential rather than his limitations.
When words make you grow up.
Yitzchak decides that the time has come to bless his eldest son. Rivka devised a plan for Yaakov to receive this blessing (technically the birthright was Yaakov’s, as his brother Esav had sold it to him for a plate of lentils). Although the manner in which Yaakov received the bracha was not the most appropriate, Yitzchak gave it to him and thus made him the next leader of the Chosen People.
Have you ever heard projections about who will take over the leadership of the Tnua in the future? Did that prophecy come true? How is it possible that it could have been predicted so long in advance? Well, ‘magically’, the word has the power to transform ordinary people into outstanding beings. In educational philosophy, this phenomenon is called the ‘Pygmalion effect’. According to the concept, one person’s positive belief (embodied in the word) positively influences the other’s performance. Therefore, when we mark good things about each other, they are likely to come up again in the future. After the same behaviour has been positively reinforced many times, it can develop into patterns or habits that help the subject to distinguish him or herself in a positive way from those who have not had ‘the blessing’ of being reinforced for good.
In order to empower those around us, we must strengthen in them more ‘what we do’, than ‘what we don’t’. This, without a doubt, is one of the most important tasks we have in educating in Tnua.
By mentioning pleasant attitudes, our chanichim and chanichot notice that we have seen them and that we value that positive side of them. Thus our words act as a mirror, allowing them to get a good reflection of themselves that they may not have had until now.
If, in addition, we want to generate a favourable impact on a group level, let us remember that highlighting constructive attitudes of the groups that make up the Tnua (Kvutzot, tzevet, Hanaga, etc.) empowers and encourages them to do more and better. Together with personal example, positive words at the right time and in the right place can be what is missing for that kvutza to move from being just another group to being ‘the star team’.
All a child needs to grow up is an adult who honestly believes in him.
It was known before he came into the world that Esav would not be a positive figure. At birth, the narrative description corroborates his fate. And, later on, when the text describes Esav as a man of the field (hunting) and Yaakov as a man of the tents (study), it simply seals it. This being so, it is not surprising that Rivka prefers her youngest son, but who is surprising is Yitzchak. For him his ‘favourite’ son is Esav, he wants to bless him and he calls him ‘my son’ 8 times in the parasha. But: What did Yitzchak see in Esav to love him so much and want to invest in him? I believe that Yitzchak saw Esav’s potential and effort to learn and try to improve even, or especially, when the tools he had were different from Yaacov’s. Yitzchak saw his positive aspects and highlighted them so that Esav would know that someone could see nice things in him. Yitzchak did not pretend that he had to change Esav to be Yaacov. Yitzchak showed Esav that he was worthy of affection by being the way he was.
Have you ever heard of ‘good chanichim’ referring to those who participate in the peula, behave respectfully, and enjoy learning from the activity that was so painstakingly planned?
Prejudice about how a ‘good chanich’ looks or behaves, not only harms the child who falls outside the pre-established criteria, but also harms the tzevet who fails to see the true potential in each member of the group and the kvutza in general who feels that perhaps, he or she is not as valuable as ‘the favourite’. Hence the importance of educating in Tnua with Yitzchak’s criteria: loving, respecting and empowering each of the people who are part of our ken, regardless of labels or stereotypes, be they positive or negative.
In conclusion.
In this article we focus on two examples of how language shapes the course of the story, but these are not the only ones. In the parasha we also see how language can be life-threatening (Esav promises to kill Ya’akov for taking his blessing) or life-saving (Rivka asks Ya’akov to flee until Esav forgives him). Language can generate conflict (as when Rivka tells Yaacov her plan to have the blessing) or it can be a tool to resolve it (King Avimelech, after the dispute over the wells, swears an oath with Yitzchak to make peace).
‘Abrakadabra’ was once a symbol of magic. Today it is a reminder of the power we have to educate. When we use language appropriately in Tnua, we can transform a simple tnuati moment into a meaningful and unforgettable educational experience. When we speak to build, we can enhance and enrich the identity and personality of our chanichim and chanichot, we can improve the Tnua, we can transmit the legacy of our people and we can leave a beautiful mark on the world. This is the real trick of education: choosing our words to create the world we dream of. Are you ready to work your magic in Tnua?’
